Father

Stay-At-Home Mom Flatline

I became a stay-at-home mom at the age of 24, after my second son was born back in 2010. My boyfriend has been blessed to be able to provide for our family, while I can stay at home with the children. At the beginning stages of stay-at-home living, we were in a small 2 bedroom apartment. I’d drop off my boyfriend to BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit), and my older son to daycare. I’d stay home and cater to all household needs, as well as my newborn baby boy. Eat, sleep, pump, prep meals on repeat. That was my routine.

3 months passed, and we moved into a 5 bedroom home that was provided by my parents paying a small portion of rent helping them out with their mortgage. It was definitely a steal here in the Bay Area -especially being extremely close to the Dumbarton Bridge, which connects the East Bay to the Peninsula including cities such as Redwood City, Palo Alto, and Half Moon Bay just to name a few…

After the move, my older son entered Kindergarten, and my boyfriend was hired at a social media marketing company that helped advertisers manage their pages on Facebook. The company was at their early start-up phase, and was conveniently located across the bridge in Palo Alto. I stayed home, continued to care for my boys and in a larger home. Cleaning was exceedingly difficult, more room = more mess.

 

My sons grew older, birthdays and career milestones were celebrated, while I just stayed a flat momentum of personal growth. Watching my children grow, my boyfriends career grow, and square-footage of our home grow.

 

We’ve then moved out of my parents property, my son entered 1st grade at a new school, new job opportunities for daddy. We are now at a new routine change. My youngest is now in Pre-K, the other in entering 3rd and the boyfriend works remotely from home. The time off opportunity starts now. I’ve failed in increase the past four years. Any mother can understand that we are all opportunist. At times we have absolute no time for even sitting. A stay-at-home mom’s life is all about the house and your children. At times I literally stand while I eat, and I purposely wear gym wear majority of the time, because I feel like I’m actually working out while cleaning, running errands, and always always always doing things for others around the house, and for the house.

As I mentioned in my Journey To 30, 28 wasn’t so great. It was the actual time it really hit me. I’m approaching my 30s, and I want something to show for. …For myself. No one else. I want to challenge myself, try something new, something different, an outlet for me to express myself, personally and creatively. A possible way to provide for my family,  which does not eat away time from my family, that is Number ONE.  Being a stay-at-home mom doesn’t always get any credibility unless someone truly knows what its like. I’m not asking for a high-five, or gold sticker. I just want time for myself for personal growth.

Socially, financially, and emotionally, it’s hard to find my village of moms, and the support. So I always went to the internet. Mommy Blogs, Facebook groups, online forums, MeetUps and YouTube. I’ve found my community there. It was “live,” it’s real, it’s relatable. I gravitate towards mothers/women who share the same lifestyle as me, and have similar interests. There are so many different types of people out there, personalities, and you won’t always mesh well with all of them. And thats ok. There will be times searching for that outlet will remain static…But I pushed myself to keep searching, and improving myself in the mean time.

Bottom line, I’m done being at a flatline. I refuse to continue to fail to increase; to stop remaining static as a stay-at-home mom. Here goes to my new creative challenge and on going personal project.

Being myself and improving myself.

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